Keep on bursting
Now that medical school has finished, it feels as if the imaginary safety bubble has burst. After 6 long years I can no longer refer to myself as a medical student and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Sure, it’s nice that I have finished and I can be all grown up, but while everyone is smiling and congratulating me, I cannot help but feel a little underwhelmed. Not in the sense that I’m disappointed in my achievements, but more in a spaced-out ‘did I just do that?’ kind of way.
On the flip-side, I’m reacting to both no more school + emigration with a jittery energy that’s making me super productive, like a lady of leisure on amphetamines. Then sometimes the pace slows right down and I have time to contemplate the past intense year; travelling, the breakup of a long-term relationship, medical finals and the decision to move abroad. In the past, my personality-type would have crumpled up just thinking about it, but now I mostly smile and laugh, because that’s all you can do, and it has all helped me to become a better person, so it can’t be all bad.
I still suffer from insomnia but I have come to accept that it’ll probably stay that way until I settle into New Zealand. It allows me creative time, just as well because I have huge piles of yarn to get through, and they can’t go in my luggage as I have already devoted large amounts of space to the ‘looks nice but will be off in seconds’ underwear.
